TORN.
I don’t like getting personal, especially on a blog. Especially on a blog that is designated for graphic design and printmaking. But with my latest print that I literally just finished and the events that have happened this week, maybe it’s time for me to open up. Maybe it will help. Maybe not.
Yesterday my Uncle Fred died. He laid in a hospital bed surrounded by his wife and kids, unconscious as cancer spreaded through his lungs and his kidneys failing until, he slowly stopped breathing. He was a U.S. Solider and fought in the Vietnam War where he met and married my mom’s oldest sister and brought the entire family to America. Utah, to be specific. If he didn’t enlist, go to Vietnam, marry my Aunt, or bring the family over, my parents wouldn’t have met, and I wouldn’t be here. He is the second father I’ve heard of passing away this week, the first one belonging to a friend of mine. I’ve never met my friend’s dad but it broke my heart when I found out. And who knows how many other dads have passed away this very week as well.
I have not talked to my father for nearly 3 months. He was my best friend and the man I trusted the most. There has hardly been a day where we didn’t talk, until the day I found out he’s been having an affair. And if that isn’t heartbreaking enough, it’s the third throughout my parents marriage. I have no desire to talk to him, even after knowing my friend and cousins can no longer talk to theirs. But at the same time I don’t want to regret not talking to him while he’s still around. I know my relationship with him will never be the same and frankly, I’m too scared to hear what else he has to say. It could be more lies, it could be the painful truth. Saying nothing hurts the least right now.
He is the black bird in this addition to my Identity Issues series:
This is printed for Signed & Numbered‘s “Mini” Print Exchange, their first in their new location on 21st and 21st, Salt Lake City. The show is still TBA.
8″x 8″. Hand printed relief, screen print, and hand coloring. Printed on Unbleached Mulberry.
This print was about him too. I just didn’t want to admit it yet.
7 Comments
Oh my gosh, Nic. I’m so sorry. I had NO idea about your dad. I wish there was something I could say to make it better…
Call me if you need to chat. I got a new phone AGAIN (2 in less than a month – hurrah for Sprint) and no longer have your number. My phone is still 801-473-9552. Call if you ever need to rant. Even if I can’t say something oosing with eloquence and genius to make you feel better, at least I can listen.
Oh, P.S. As usual, your artwork blows me away.
my condolences, Nic.
good for you for just letting it out in the open on your blog.
it’s your space, so, thank you for sharing your thoughts, inspirations, and even about the things that let you down. i hope it helps somewhat.
I don’t have anything to say about the personal issues that I haven’t said in person, but I do love this series. I find the concept so interesting and keep coming back to look at them.
Nic I love the print. I’m sorry about your dad and your uncle. That’s not something any daughter ever wants to face on either account. Hope you’re doing okay.
Oh Nic,
I hurt so badly reading this. I know how close you were with your dad. It seems like the plague right now with men, doesn’t it? I wish there was something I could do for you. My only suggestions are to go watch some good foreign films, eat a creamie, and climb a tree.
Love you tons. Always call when you are near,
Jo
Your print is so beautiful Nic and so touching. I love it even though the foundation and story behind it is tragic (very sorry to hear about your personal pains). You are a great artist and don’t ever forget it!